200820082008

ada 3 2008!!
mulanye aku cukup puas hati dengan kewujudan 2 2008,tapi seorang abg senior menegur aku,

dia : tunggu la sampai pukul 8.08 malam.
aku : eh kenape pulak?
dia : 20:08 20.08.2008

cantik ya nombor ni!kalau la aku cukup matang,kaya dan ready memikul tanggung jawab itu,aku dah ambil dah waktu tu pada tarikh itu sebagai waktu nikah aku..hahahaha

tapi malangnya,aku tak cukup matang lagi,tak kaya dan tak ready memikul tanggungjawab berat itu. ;)

200820082008.ape aku buat?
aku tengah tengok too fast too furious di channel cinemax.

Terima kasih Tuhan!kerana memanjangkan umur aku untuk menikmati hari ini.sejak semalam,aku dah sangat bersyukur jantung aku masih berdegup lagi.

kelmarin ke Institut Terjemahan Negara Malaysia(ITNM) di wangsa maju.aku kena ambil terjemahan slip result aku.walaupun aku tak berapa puas hati dengan terjemahan pakcik entah siape yang berharga RM120 tu,tapi aku rasa macam takpa la..aku terima seadanya.tetapi,semalam juga rakan aku di mesir bagi terjemahan slip result yang dia tolong terjemahkan kat kedutaan malaysia di sana.tak secekik darah ITNM,dan terjemahan tersebut sangat memuaskan hati aku!argh,aku merasakan diri aku tertipu!dengan RM120 tu,aku boleh beli satu pasang baju kurung yang cun yang haritu aku jumpa yang aku terintai-intai beberapa kali tapi tak boleh beli sebabbbbbbb... duit aku dah hangus.tapi apa boleh buat, at least aku dapat tahu betapa jauhnya tempat ITNM tu sampaikan aku kena bangun dan mandi extra awal pada hari tersebut.dah la aku missed tengok oprah winfrey show! :(

aku pantang sikit orang naikkan darah aku!lagi2 kalau orang nak mengata kawan2 sekolah aku.walaupun lain agama dan bangsa,aku sayang mereka!! kenapa perlu utarakan arahan sebegini?

'jangan dah la kawan dgn diorg tu.'
'tak boleh tau kawan dgn diorg.'

lagi2 kalau aku kena melalui situasi sebegini...

skolah mane dulu?
skolah yu hua.
ha?
it's a chinese school.
orang itu pandang aku atas bawah,dgn muke sinis tak boleh bla aku rase mcm nak tumbuk dan campak dia kat sungai nil!fuuhhh!
kenapa mesti kena skolah kat situ?

babi.aku hampir mencarut dan jari tengah hampir naik ke atas menunjuk langit!ini bikin hati gua panasss!!tapi memandangkan orang tu aku kena jumpa selama aku di mesir,aku terpaksa senyum sahaja.walaupun rupa sangat alim,racist itu tidak bagus,ok?so,kepada sesiapa yang terasa,silalah sedar!racist tu hanya untuk orang2 zaman jahiliah dulu!kalau taknak digelar kuno,baiklah kau senyap je,dan biarkan aku go on dengan life aku.terima kasih.

ye,orang sebegini wujud!tak caye?kau try la jawab kau dari skolah cina or skolah orang putih whatever,tgk reaksi mereka.samada kau akan dapat reaksi 'wahh bagusnye!' ataupon seperti yang aku elaborate dalam dialog tadi.

aku rasa orang perlu sedar bahawa di egypt a.k.a mesir itu adalah sama dan bukanlah hanya wujud orang2 yang mendalami ilmu agama.sebab aku pernah mengalami situasi ini..

belajar kat mane dik?
egypt.
ohh..mane tu?
mesir.
ohhh mesir tau la!
org itu pandang aku atas bawah mungkin sebab cara aku berpakaian itu tidak sama dengan apa yang dia rasa orang di mesir pakai
(aku hanya mampu senyum)
di mesir tu boleh ke pakai macamni?
bolehhhh..
ohhhhh(pandang atas bawah lagi)..ingatkan kena pakai jubah je.
eh taklahhh..haha
belajar ape?
dentistry.
ohhh..ade ek dentistry kat sane?makcik tau ade bidang agama je.(gelak besar)

ceh.aku tak tau la pula mesir=jubah=sangat baik dan sopan santun=blaja agama sahaja.maafla makcik,saye tak sanggup jadi fake.

wah entry ni dah jadi macam ape pulak!padahal tadi aku nak cakap pasal 200820082008 je.

kesimpulan,duit hangus,dan resit atm aku esok tak akan mengeluarkan nombor cantik seperti 20082008 ni.cis.

freshly 19.

yes, i am 19.
apsal?jeles?
gahaha..

i am a proud 19 year old girl.and i am going to enjoy as much as i can during the last year of the big 1 at the front.will be facing the big 2 soon!gosh,i've grown up so fast!haha

the family surprised me with pizza-hut which i craved for too long i couldn't remember.we celebrated my birthday 2 days before the exact date of my birthday.

remember at school we always wrote down the date n will count every single days left till the birthday?now i didn't even care about the dates and i literally lost count the days.

therefore,i was totally forgot about my birthday until i read the offline message niksu gave me a day before the birthday. ;)

1st obstacle i went through as a 19 year old is the slip result.the egyptians kept giving us excuses because they don't want to print out the slip result for us.and that made me angry until i scolded my friend who were intended to wish me happy birthday.sorry,i didn't mean to scold you.

but i received the best gift ever this year because my good friends compelled the egyptians to print out the slips.(another problem occur, they typed my birth date wrong, erghhh!!! doesn't matter,i can't wait to go back and give them a penumbuk sakti)

i was busy during my birthday until i forgot to enjoy it.huh.but i would like to thank everybody who gave me testimonials in friendster, comments in myspace, messages via sms, calls and so on.i appreciate every wishes and may we have a great year together.God willing.

and oh,thanks for the presents too! :D


extras:
the hair is now short.goodbye long hair,you will be missed.in fact,i miss u already!adoi. :(
since it is my birthday,the blog is back open to public.(hopefully it'll last long.) :D
i am a tuition teacher no more.(there goes my chance of shopping) :(

tagged

i am enjoying the hours that left for me as an 18 year old.hee..it feels good.haha.

but can i be an 18 year old a bit longer?guess not.

anyways,i am typing this because grace lim(i have never call you grace,right?enjoy it.haha) tagged me.lucky you i am on holidays.haha.

Rules:
1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.
3. At the end of the post the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves a comment, letting them know they got tagged and to ask them to play and read your blog.

Starting time: 8.57 pm

Name: hannah sahimi
Sisters: 2
Brothers: 1.
Shoe size: 5,6,7.gahaha.
Height: 154 cm short.
Where do you live: the best home ever,bandar baru bangi and the dusty mansoura,egypt.
Favourite drinks: err..apple juice.
Favourite breakfast: cereal,oat.
Have you ever been on a plane: yup.
Swam in the ocean: no seriously.hee.
Fallen asleep in school: of course!
Broken someone's heart: yes.
Fell off your chair: who doesnt?
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: i am not that desperate.
Saved e-mails: yup.
What is your room like: sleepable,lepak-able.
What's right beside you: modem.mouse.
What is the last thing you ate: rice.
Ever had chicken pox: twice!haha.
Sore throat: like duhh~!!it's like one of the growing up process~
Stitches: yes.
Broken nose: nope.
Do you believe in love at first sight: not anymore.haha.
Like picnics:just ok.
Who was the last person you danced with: wow 2 months ago with my roomate.haha.
Last made you smile:saifullah :)
You last yelled at: luqman!!!!
Talk to someone you like: nope.
Kissed anyone: mak and some aunties.
Get sick: egypt.egypt.
Talked to an ex: no ex.
Miss someone: who?nobody.gaha.
Best feeling in the world: dreaming of marrying a handsome prince.gahaha.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: mom took my fav bear and gave it to i dont know who!.amek la kak yong punyeee!!!pfft.
Who do you really hate: he and she.
What time is it now: 9.09 pm.

Randoms :
Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now: muse.gaha.
Q: Do you have any siblings: yup.
Q: Do you want children: yes.
Q: Do you smile often: i am not so sure abt that.
Q: Do you like your hand-writing: i guess so.
Q: Are your toenails painted: no lah.
Q: Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: mom's.hee.
Q: What colour shirt are you wearing: yellow.
Q: What were you doing at 7:00pm yesterday: kenduri kenduri.

Q: I can't wait till: 4 years later where i can leave egypt for good.god willing.
Q: When did you cry last: 2 weeks ago.
Q: Are you a friendly person: maybe.i can be very mean too.
Q: Do you have any pets: in this house?no way man.

Where is the person you have feelings for right now? : nowhere.haha.
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now? : sisters.
Do you sleep with the TV on? : at times.
What are you doing right now? : this.
Have you ever crawled through a window? once!haha..prouddddd...
Can you handle the truth? yup.
Are you closer to your mother or father? both.
Who was the last person you cried in front of? running water.
How many people can you say you've really loved?: uncountable.
Do you eat healthy? now,yes.thanks to mak the super mom!hehe.
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex? no ex.
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you? yup.it hurts ok?
How often do you go to church? never in my entire life.huhu.
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to? buy myself an icecream or just sit alone in the room with the radio on.huhu.
Are you loud or quiet most of the time? : i am LOUUUUDDD!!haha
Are you confident? : i am now!serious!

5 things I was doing 10 years ago..(1998)
- loadssss of homeworksssss!!everyday with at least 5 homeworks.(what u heard abt chinese school with loads of homework is actually true)
- tuition
- mengaji class.
- sekolah agama pagi.
- play.

5 things on my to-do list today:
- err sleep?
- dream.
- sleep
- sleep
- sleep again.

5 snacks I enjoy:
- cucur manis yummy!

5 things I would do if I were a billionaire:-
- buy a car
- buy a huge house
- save some
- donate some
- spend some for the family.:)

5 of my bad habits:
- tinggal phone merata-rata.
- clumsy when i'm late.
- easily get mad.
- chewing straws
- err..

5 places I have lived in :
- house
- camp
- house
- camp summore.
- house.

5 jobs I’ve had:
- full time daughter
- full time student
- part time tuition teacher
- full time sister
- full time friend
dang!i'm a busy girl.haha

5 people I tag:
- niksu
- amelin
- kak alaks.haha
- Bat again.(plz la update ur blog)
- cant think of anybody else now.

samosa

I love samosa!who doesnt?samosa is my favourite makanan petang after goreng pisang,keropok leko,cakoi,and popiah basah.i remember when i was younger,every saturday was the busiest day for me,with UC MAS classes,and co-curiculum,but i will spend some time buy the huge samosa in the mosque beside my school after i performed zohr prayer,before i head to my art class later that afternoon.the samosas really made my day.and mak knew it because whenever i got fed up with the busy schedule my mak will persuade me by buying the samosa for me.hee.

after i enter form 2,i graduated UC MAS and the art class moved to bangi,nearer to our home but,i told mak that i had enough of art and the compact schedule.so mak compromised but i rarely had samosa since then.dad will buy them if only we were heading somewhere else after my tuition classes and we had to stop at the mosque to pray.but now,no more,luqman have his tuition at home,and he rarely go to school on saturdays and we rarely have plans on saturdays too.so goodbye samosa yang besar dan mengenyangkan.huu..

last 2 years,when i was busy preparing my SPM,mak learned how to make samosa from ustazah maznah,i helped,a bit,i helped in the tasting part je.haha.

so today mak asked me to mak 59 samosas.and i had a tension-geram-fun time doing it.haha.blame my hands for not into the cooking stuff.haha.

i know everybody knows how to make samosa,but i want to show it anyways.haha

the inti of the samosa.
cook some minced meat,jintan manis(aniseed),onion and some salt with a bit of oil together.

and you'll get this:

buy some kulit popiah(spring roll pastry)
cut them into three till u get something like this:




make your own glue by mixing some flour and water



take 2 pieces of the previously cut kulit popiah,and glue them together with the flour-water mixture.

make a triangle shape at the corner of the kuli popiah,and stuff in the inti.



roll the kulit popiah according to the triangle shape that has been stuffed with inti earlier.


again,glue them with the flour-water glue.

taraa...



you'll get the perfect triangle samosa~!

deep fried them and you'll get something yummy like these~!:

it was frustrating at first because the kulit popiah was soooooo fragile!!tarik sikit koyak!terlebih inti sikit,koyak!adoi.banyak songeh betul.tension je.huhu.then after i made the first 20,i am a pro!haha.

of meeting

had a perjumpaan ibubapa dan pelajar perubatan dan pergigian mesir yesterday in UKM.and it was a fun yet tensed meeting.

fun,because i met my fellow rakan-rakan pejuangan.4 of the dentistry students attended the meeting,and some medic students were there too.so it's like some sort of small reunion and the lunch is free! :D

tensed because of the argument that had occurred between the parents and the agents.the parents were very unsatisfied with the services provided by the agents,while the agents were defending themselves saying they know what they're doing yada yada.dont they realize that we,the students actually live there and what we've told our parents are actually the truth?but i kept silent for the day,let the parents do the talk.unfortunately,mak couldnt make it,so i went there alone.but an uncle was so defensive,he defended the dentistry students and an aunty came to me and said kenape diorang cakap pasal pelajar perubatan sahaje?diorang ni memang nak kena!.that aunty was right,i mean,it's not fair when you paid the same amount of the service they've charged but didn't get the same service.we were like being forgotten and have to do everything by ourselves.

for instance,
the tuition and extra classes.
the agents were very much aware of the arabic lectures but didn't do anything to solve that matter,and we have to sacrifice to search for the lecturers who willing to give us classes in english,but we have to pay them extra money.and after we told the agents that we found the extra classes yada-yada and we actually passed the exam,barulah nak puji2.heh,we are not the makan puji people.just be thankful that nobody is suing you.

the problems regarding the university.
for medic students,no biggie!just warm your butt at home and there's someone doing everything for you.and when we ask 'what about the dentistry students?'..same answer will be uttered, 'i'm not sure about that' which means..DO IT YOURSELF and what does do it yourself means?it means that when you negotiate with the clerks in the student department,they wont help you.got it?how does it feel when you have to be a pendatang haram for 5 months because the dean don't want to give the letter that allows you to extend the visa?yeah,that's what i went through.after so much of crying and arguing,i didn't get a thing!and then came another problem where they said that i haven't pay the fees.****!!!just be thankful that nobody is suing you.

luckily,my patience is considerably enough for me to face those obstacles without giving up.yeah yeah,i whined a lot.I've been saying 'i wanna go home so badly' blabla but friends made me stay and i managed to finish my first year!prouuuuddddd~!

the agents promised that they will improve their services and make no more mistakes.i do hope that they keep their words,if it's not for us,please provide a better service for the juniors.we can handle ourselves now,we are big enough!haha.just please don't try to lie to us again.if you're not quite sure the facts,just say that you're not sure.don't pretend that you know everything.that's all i want.

nasi durian

the delicious way of indulging the taste of durian.

try this.

take a plate,put some rice on it,the amount is up to you.

choose any slice of the golden yellow yummy durians.for me,i will take two;)
put the durian onto the rice.

dash some coconut milk or milk(low fat,full cream whatsoever milk) on the durian and the rice.add some amount of sugar on the rice.

squeeze the yummy durian and mix them all together with the rice and the sugar.put away the biji of the durian.

after finish mixing,enjoy your meal!it can be your lunch or dinner.

we dont know the exact name,but we tend to call it nasi durian.
let me remind you again:it is very delicious!everybody should try it!

arwah dad taught us this delicious meal.he said it's from perak,but whenever i ask my friends from perak,they dont know it.probably it's from perak's old folks and the youngsters didnt learn how to eat them.pity them.

mak told us that the nasi durian is actually made by the poor people (back in the 60's) who couldn't afford to buy durians,durians were pricey back then.so if they happened to get a durian,they will share it with their huge family,and they will mix the durians with rice so that everybody can taste it.and nobody get left behind.

we used to eat them with the coconut milk,but we changed it into milk after dad was diagnosed with his kidney disease.we assume it is the healthier way by using milk instead of coconut milk.but the lemak part is not complete la.

try it,you'll love it.i know it because the whole family love it!and i'm going to teach my future children about this,and and my future children will teach my grandchildren and so on and so on and so on..haha merepek.

if you're on diet,just have a bit.and you'll be craving for more!haha.

one more thing,dont eat too much durian or you'll get a major headache like what i'm having now.too many people gave us durians and our house has become the kebun of durians and mak kept open it one by one and i,on the other hand,cant help my hand to help mak tasting it slice by slice.aiyoo..mak can eat 2 whole durians without having headache.i envy her.huuu..

saye si cekgu tusyen

'kak,nak topup $@&#^ 10 ringgit..'

i gave her rm50 but then she asked me wether i have anything lesser than that..

ku bukak2 poket2 purse.

'5,6,7,8,9...50 sen,70 sen..90 sen..(monolog dalaman:oh ade 5 sen dan 5 biji 1 sen!)'

susun dan confident betul tanpa ingat bahawasanya 1 sen dah tak gune..

'erm dik,1 sen dah tak gune kan?'

terasa sangat bodoh!!!!

'oh yeke?saye baru balik from luar negara,so saye tak tahu..sorry~'

padahal 1 sen dah tak digunekan dah lame kot??malu2.. :p

i have a JOB!!i just received half of my salary!

KERJA: guru tuition..
SUBJECT: addmath???haha..nasib baik ingat lagi!dan nasib baik form 4 je.. :p
DUIT KEMANA?: baju kot? :D

kau orang pernah nyanyikan lagu 10 budak hitam tu?well,aku dah minat satu.so tinggallah 9 untuk korg minat..haha..ok,orang tak gelak.

orang bijak dan hensem aku pernah jumpe,orang gentleman aku pernah jumpe,orang sengal pon aku pernah jumpe..tapi aku tak pernah jumpe lagi si gentleman yang bijak dan rock tapi tidak tinggal solat dan mempunyai senyuman menawan.nak cari lah!hehe..

mak's 51st birthday was yesterday.we surprised her with some presents and cake.she loved it.and we love our mak too!happy birthday mak,moga panjang umur dan murah rezeki.

ngantuk arh.selamat siang.

service

service orang melayu vs service orang cina.

same day,same time.

situation 1:using the malay's service to repair the waterpipe.
called for number of times,then only they come to your house.
they came and check the toilet and tell you that they'll repair it that afternoon.but,janji orang melayu,they didnt come.
later that night they called,telling you the amount of money they wanted to repair the toilet(belum apa-apa dah nak duit)
soo egyptian-like-attitude.bila pasal duit,laju je.
then they told you that they will come the next day.
but..janji melayu,macam arab,tak nampak batang hidung.
you've called,you've waited for a week!then only they come to your house with their tools.
but it didnt end there just yet.
after you paid them then you realised,ada jugak paip yang bocor.cheh!
patutla laju je korang nak balik.


situation 2:using the chinese's service to repair the astro decorder.
called once,they told you that they will come at 1.
at 1,they showed up.(senyum)
they didnt tell you the ammount od money they wanted,they said :'let us repair it first lah'(senyum)
they told you that the soonest you can get your decorder back is after 1 week.
after 1 week,they called,the decorder is already back in action.


so whose service is better?you decide.

the violin.

yeah,i have nothing else to do than lying on the bed watching tv,or cook if mak told me to,or just sit in front the boring desktop for hours.

people are just too busy studying and left me here alone with nobody else to hang with.wahh emosi.hahaha..

i'm not actually that bored!mak's friends always visit mak here and for that reason i have to entertain them with my egypt stories and like mak said,tunjuk muke orang mesir.and i have to start over the same story from day by day.cant they just come on 1 day so that i would not waste my saliva of talking the same stuff and my jaws would not be cramped almost everyday for giving those aunties the sweetest widest smile i ever gave?but there's nobody to blame.at least i would not be dead bored with nothing to do.huhu.

i found this video on kajang town.and i was like hey!i know that guy!i met him before.



he was the instructor of er hu in my old school.

after being amazed by the talented Mr Cham Kum Loong,i decided to learn this er hu(chinese violin)

but then i am so sure that mak will slap me back to reality.i wasted hundreds of ringgits when i was in form 2 when i told my mak that i wanted to learn the chinese flute but only went for only 2 months of classes.hee.

who ask the instructor to be so fierce?i came innocently and willing to learn but he scolded me and liyin most of the time.till we almost cry one day.huh.maybe we were too young at that moment.haha.

he's too fierce that at one time when i ask him where to buy the chinese flute he didnt answer me at all he just showed me his fierce face and i was like smiling innocently.then at that time the er hu instructor,Mr Cham,came to me and told me that he will buy 1 for me.adehh.how nicee..(smiling)

i remembered my friend told me that er hu was supposed to be played by men only!the women were forbidden to play it but in the modern world,the men and women has the same rights,so the women are now damn luckier than their greatestest great great great grandmothers and they can play the er hu now.(i dont know the truth of the story,blame my friend if she's telling me the wrong story.hehe)

if only i know i would not survive the fierceness of the flute instructor(i basically forgot his name la,see?too fierce that i forgot his name),i would go and spend the money to er hu instead.and i will be a pro in no time!(cewah berlagak!)huwaaaa...

mommy,i want to learn er hu!!!

i bet mak will pretend that she didnt hear me.

oh well..

hypocrite?

when i meet my school friends,if they ask me how's egypt?i will answer..

'tak best.i dont like it when people judge my every move.'

but when mak's friends ask me how's egypt?i will answer..

'ok la.takde la teruk sangat.boleh je enjoy kalau dah adapted.'

and when my junior ask me how's egypt?i will answer..

'best!pengalaman baru!just enjoy it.'

heh.hypocrite ke ape?honestly i dont know how i feel about Mansoura University.i told my cousin about how stressful was i during last 2 semesters with lectures i dont understand and how tired was i after attending classes in the morning and still have classes till middle of the night.and my cousin suggest that i should change to university in indonesia instead.i immediately objected.i told her that it was not that hard afterall.

but then,after i got home.it made me reconsider.

then mak asked me to clean up the study room.oh it was full with books here and there.i was cleaning up my table until i found this...



kolej matrikulasi melaka.i found the notes i jotted during lectures for the three weeks i was there.to my surprise,i actually jotted a lot of notes!my notes were very thick even for only three weeks!and i had a conversation with mak about it..

'wah rajinnye hannah time matrik dulu!notes tebal2..hahaha'

'ha!bagusla..kalau stay dulu maybe boleh dapat 4 flat.'

silence.

would i get 4 flat if i stayed?probably.even kak ngah got 3.98 before.
regret of leaving?definitely.there's still tiny bits of that feeling haunting me.
would i have a great time in matriculation?probably.i had a very close prektikum mates.we still contact each other now.i had fun those three weeks!adoi.
tapi takpe la.i chose this path.maybe i'll get 4 flat but still didnt qualified to enter dentistry course.maybe i wouldn't get that 4 flat.everything happens for a reason.

i was studying form 4's addmaths for i have to teach my cousin's daughter after this.and i actually miss those moments where i learn to understand but not learn to memorize.in school,the teachers gave us reasons on why this or that happened.but in my university,if we ask the lecturer why this thing happened,he/she will say..

'you dont need to know,you just have to memorize it.'

heh.no comments.

the dentistry seniors told me that in pre-dentistry year,you will feel the stress but once you enter the 1st year,you'll have fun.

is it?well,we just have to wait and see,aite?

i wish next semester will not be like last 2 semesters.i wish the lecturers can speak english and i wish that the lecturers can use english in class or make extra classes for the malaysians.not like what we went through last year where when we asked a lecturer to make extra class for us,he said..

'you just study at home and come to my office if you dont understand.'

heh.mcm tak membantu.how the heck to study when we dont understand a thing?mengeluh.but i didnt say that the tuitions didnt helped.it helped a lot!
i just didnt agree with the 'just memorize eventhough u dont understand' part.

mengeluh tu tak baik.but i did that a lot today.

mcm nak nangis pon ade!huwaaaa...

this is MY blog.

i bought a @#$%^&* sim card from this chinese makcik and i thought i can enjoy the advantages of actually using the handphone to contact my old friends starting that day.till when do i have to go around mak and 'mak,nak pinjam phone,nak sms.' again and again and again.i think mak is already worry about the balance of her handphone's credit.so i filled the registeration form,gave the makcik a sweet smile after she said after half an hour i can use it already and went back home.

then after half an hour the message havent arrive yet.i waited till 1 whole day then i received the message the next day but she registered me with someone else's name.ahmad something.i tried to send a message but couldnt,again,i tried to call,and it dissapoint me again.so yesterday i went to the makcik's shop again and complain it to her.she said,she will solve it.again,she said,after half an hour,it will be settled.

i waited patiently for one whole day thinking that it might end up just like the other day but no changes occured.so today after i babbled it to mak,mak took me to the shop again.mak asked me to tell the makcik to give me back my money.

arrived,i smiled to the makcik.i told her nicely that the problem about the registeration is not done yet.she said she didnt promise me that it will be done.my blood pressure increased.my emotion unstabled.i cant control my anger.the hormon suddenly taking over the body and poof!i scold her!oh i still cant believe i scold her!this is absurd!the funny thing about the scolding part is that i suddenly uttered this sentence

'i baru balik dari luar negara!i nak contact kawan2 ipon tak boleh!mcmane nk contact sekarang?'

and she was like..'oh u pigi luar negara buat apa?'

i screamed:'BELAJAR LA!'

silence.she picked up her phone,call her @#$%^&* agent and gave the phone to me.directly i screamed to the agent.dah la melayu!pemalas plak tu!

i was soo angry tears almost fall from my eyes.yes.it was that critical.haha.the gerai makan's customers beside the shop stopped eating.heh.i was making a scene.haha.

stupid malay.melayu.perangai tak senonoh langsung.adeke patut ckp dengan customer malas2?the company should fire u,u stupid moron!

i scold him by saying

'hello?i've paid the money!i should get what i've paid!'
and then he replied me by saying 'i know la u dah pay..tapi this is not salah i'(bengong,ape bende ntah kau ckp)

'this is your job!u didnt do your job well!'(the same sentence i gave mahmood in egypt the other day..haha)

and then he started to blame the makcik,tibe2 terase nak defend makcik bengong tu.
'so u're saying this is her fault?siape yang tak buat kerja sekarang?'

then the same sentence that i gave to the makcik came out from my mouth again.but with different tone.the angrier one.
'i baru balik dari luar negara!i nak contact kawan2 ipon tak boleh!mcmane nk contact sekarang?'

then he said'i tak boleh nak buat ape?'

tak boleh nak buat ape?solve this thing,moron!

he suggested that i have to go to the center.but the center will be closed tomorrow.for the problem that i didnt cause,i refused.i said 'TAKDE MASE LA!' n he dropped the phone.bodoh betul.nak je aku sepak 55 kali.(apsal 55 kali pon aku taktau kenape)

then the makcik pulak buat hal.i asked her to give me my money back..

'tak boleh oo..ini bukan masalah kitolang..'

ok then,i asked her to change the sim card to another one..

'tak boleh oo..'

ok marah lagi!
'SAYA NAK GUNA!!SAYA TAKDE MASE LA PERGI SANA(the center)!'

silence.tears were about to fall..(bertahan!bertahan!)
immediately i use my ability of speaking mandarin to scold her.hah!take that!tergamam kau!

i told her that i wont be coming back again to her stupid shop,slammed the desk and walk toward mak who were waiting in the car.and mak just smiled and laughed about what had happened.

hah.i didnt believe that i did that.i thought i only have the guts to do the scolding thing in front of the egyptians but i didnt know that i actually brought home that behaviour.

was wondering where the hell did i get that from.mak said it's in the gene.i got it from my late dad.haha.prouddd!!

1 more thing that annoys me.....

this is MY blog.i have the rights on writing whatever i wanted.i have feelings and i have my own thoughts and whenever i feel like i wanna write about my thoughts,i will write it and dont judge me by being a jane doe leaving me comments without telling me your name and start to lecture me about this and that.i have my own way of learning the stuff u told me to.and if you are that good,why being a coward?menyorok diri tak bgtau siape kau.whoever you are,stop it.read,if you want to read.it's my pleasure.but just keep your thoughts with you,ok?thanks.this is my blog and this is my rule.get your own blog for crying out loud!

or i will make my blog private.thank you.

saya gemuk tapi pandai.

apa lagi penting?

kurus atau otak?

orang selalu mengata mereka yang gemuk.tapi kalau kurus tapi tak belajar tinggi pon tiada guna juga kan?kalau kurus dan pandai,itu sangat bagus.tapi kalau kurus tapi duduk dekat kampung pastu tak mahu belajar rajin2 dan perasan sangat lawa padahal hanya menjadi typical kampung girl tu bagus ke?maaf,teremosi sebentar.

berlagak la sangat dengan kekurusan tu?hello?ada orang gemuk sebab berjaga malam untuk menelaah buku.study shows that time kita belajar,otak kita berfungsi,kita menggunakan otak kita.tau tak belajar itu satu yang memenatkan?apabila kita guna otak kita,kita juga guna tenaga kita.dan apabila tenaga habis digunakan,kita pon..makan!makan untuk belajar.baca buku!memang la kau kurus,kau tak perlu belajar teruk2.duduk rumah,orang suruh masuk universiti tak mahu!duduk rumah goyang kaki,tak buat apa2,tengok tv,orang suruh itu ini semua malas,memang la kau tak lapar,bila kau tak lapar,kau takde keinginan untuk makan,dan kau jadi kurus.heh.bangge sangat la tu?ingat sekarang ini masih wujud lagi ke anak raja yang nak kahwin dengan orang kampung yang kononnya lawa?lawa tapi tak tahu apa2.apa berlaku pada dunia yang kau duduk tu pon kau tak tahu.mahu ke anak raja tu kahwin dengan kau?tolongla hidup dalam alam realiti.itu hanya cerita dongeng yang untuk diceritakan kepada budak2 bawah 5 tahun ataupun drama2 melayu yang kau gilakan sangat tu.maaf,teremosi lagi sekali.

bagaimana pula kalau gemuk?
gemuk tapi rajin belajar itu sesuatu yang harus dibanggakan.saya bangga saya gemuk tapi walaupun saya takde la rajin sangat belajar,tapi saya rasa belajar itu sangat penting!jadi,saya berusaha untuk merajinkan diri saya untuk belajar.saya buka internet untuk mengambil tahu tentang dunia ini.bukannya hanya melayari friendster dan myspace semata2.saya gemuk sebab tekanan belajar.ada masalah?jadi janganlah mengata orang si tembam sebab kemungkinan besar mereka itu adalah lebih bijak berbanding anda.mungkin juga mereka nanti akan lebih berjaya daripada anda,mungkin juga mereka akan dapat lelaki yang juga lebih baik daripada anda.mungkin bukan anak raja tapi mungkin anak orang kaya.mungkin juga lelaki anak orang kampung yang berjaya.tapi takpelah anak orang kampung pon,asalkan suami dia seorang yang berjaya.

lihat pula dari segi kewangan,ada perempuan tu mahu belajar,tapi ketiadaan wang untuk menuntut ilmu ke menara gading.tapi sekarang ni,ada penaja.pelbagai jenis penaja terdapat di negara kita.tak dapat jpa atau mara,mungkin juga dapat bantuan zakat.tapi kalau rezeki itu tiada,haruslah redha.tapi perempuan jenis ini haruslah dimaafkan.kerana perempuan itu rajin untuk belajar.jarang juga dapat jumpa perempuan sebegitu sekarang.sekarang ni wujud perempuan yang berlagak kononnya lawa tapi malas semua benda dan sibuk mengata orang gemuk walhal tengoklah orang tu,memandu kereta jenis apa?kamu tu pandu kereta apa?jadi,janganlah berbangga diri dengan kekurusan anda.kerana,orang gemuk pon boleh jadi kurus.tatkala dia sudah berjaya,dia mungkin akan kurus satu hari nanti.pada masa itu,dia sudah mempunyai segalanya.kecantikan,kekurusan,dan kejayaan.barulah orang2 kurus tapi berlagak ini terlopong memandangnya.barulah nak berkawan dengan si dia yang dulunya gemuk.jadi,kepada mereka yang merasakan diri mereka gemuk,atau berisi,janganlah sedih ketika terdengar umpatan orang,kerana gemuk atau kurus itu boleh diubah.senyum dan lalui hari anda dengan riang!


tensi dengan orang suka mengumpat.shoh shoh!pergi jaga tepi kain sendiri.nak terkoyak dah tu!

listening to: jason mraz-beauty in ugly.

home is where the heart is.

MALAYSIA,I LOVE!!

this IS home!i'm happily announce that i AM home!i'm in bandar baru bangi,and i love the green scenery,the not so hot weather,the comfy bed,the clean house,the telly and the less sound pollution!

the best thing is,i dont have to put on lotion everytime after i took my wudhu'!jimat masa!haha.

like i guessed,mak didnt recognised me when i waved at her.she said that i became fat.haha.that 5 kilos are really stubborn!i didnt eat rice for a week last week to become skinni-er and i lost 1 kilo.but then the two days before i fly,we had a big lunch and dinner,aiyo,therefore i have to stop eating rice again for a time before i meet more people with this extra 5 kilos.huhu.syaf said she lost her 5 kilos with that method,we'll see how it work.huhu.

so far,i met the neighbours and they said the same thing:'wah sehatnye budak ni'

dang!kebalkan telingaaa!!haha.

and the chinese friends came just now.i would like to thank seeling,xinwei,meiyee,peilee,and suiying for coming.we were suppose to have dinner together at pizza hut but due to some circumtances,i couldn't come.i was so touched that they willing to come here all the way from kajang at the middle of the night.i miss you guys like hell!they are the best!i complaint alot to them.at last,there're people who willing to listen!except mak of course.mak is the best listener.she listens to every detail i told her about dentistry in egypt.yeah,i whine a lot but i didnt get what i paid!it's my mother's money for crying out loud!i'll stop whining if it doesnt involve my mak's money.sekian.

so,i think i have to smooth up my mandarin language back.i talk like orang gagap just now.so rojak with english,malay and mandarin.haha.so,lets learn mandarin again!watch out chinese dramas!i'm preparing myself to addict to you!haha.

list of things to do:

makan durian(checked!thanks aunty sarah and aunty faridah~!)
kurus 5 kilo!(i will make it possible!)
kuching.
jumpa kawan-kawan yang ramai.
puasa sunat.(for the sake of kuruskan badan.haha)
makan roti canai,pisang goreng.
kuih keria,my fav!(checked!thanks auntie nolly!)
jumpa nenek and kampung.
3S with niksu.
beli dental-related books.

did i tell you that RUMAH SANGAT SERONOKKKKKKKKKK!!!

hati berkata:silalah luahkan perasaanmu!

barang sudah kemas.buku sudah simpan.Alhamdulillah result ok,makanye tak perlu membawa pulang buku.Tuhan,ku amat berterima kasih kepadaMu!

rumah oh rumah!mana kau rumah?puas fikir fasal rumah.orang banyak songeh,nyah kau dari aku!orang kaye,saya tak sanggup berurusan dengan anda.takpe lah,kalau kamu mahu,saya undur diri.terima kasih kerana membuat saya sedih.maaf,saya tak kaya seperti anda.saya tak ada ayah untuk bank-in duit sepanjang masa.mak saya tak kerja,sila la faham.jangan pujuk.saya tak sanggup sewa rumah mahal.nanti apa kata mak?kamu ke sana mahu belajar atau hidup mewah?lainlah kalau dapat bantuan kerajaan.itu lain cerita.itu pon satu hal,samada sememangnya layak ataupun dengan bantuan orang.kalau memang layak,tahniah buat anda,kalau guna bantuan orang,buat apa nak megah diri?arwah ayah pernah cakap,ayah tak suka orang guna bantuan orang lain untuk dapatkan apa yang dia mahu.itu sangat tidak adil bagi orang lain.jadi,jika mahu sekalipun,jadikanlah ia sebagai pilihan terakhir.

terima kasih ayah,ayah telah mengajar saya berfikir.terima kasih Tuhan,kerana telah memberi saya seorang ayah yang banyak mengajar saya.walaupun Tuhan mengambil ayah daripada saya,saya redha.terima kasih kerana memberi saya peluang untuk merasa kesayangan seorang lelaki bernama bapa.aku amat bersyukur.

oi orang kaya,jangan senang sangat hidup senang kerana Tuhan itu Maha Berkuasa!kekayaan tidak boleh dibawa ke kubur,ingatlah itu.sekali Tuhan tarik kesenangan,masa itulah baru termangu.dengarlah nasihatku,sebab aku sudah rasa.Tuhan ambil ayahku daripada ku,kesenangan hidupku juga ditarik kerana selama ini,diriku spoiled.lupa diri,sikit2 dad,i want some money please,dengan muka gedik2.ayah hanya memberi,mak pula sibuk bertanya untuk apa.tapi ayah tetap beri.sekarang,ayah sudah tiada.mahu meminta duit daripada mak pon perlu fikir 20 kali.mak sering pesan kepada anak-anaknya,ayah kamu dah takde,kena la jimat2,sebab mak tak kerja.

terharu jangan kata.air mata berlinangan tak terkira.tapi terpaksa akur dengan nasib diri.yang mampu dilakukan hanyalah sedar bahawa dunia itu sementara,dan berusaha untuk menjadi insan berjaya.Dr Hannah Sahimi terngiang-ngiang di telinga.insyaAllah dengan doa kalian,aku akan berjaya.

bagiku,barang berjenama tidaklah penting,asalkan berpakaian,semua itu tidak dihiraukan.ada kala,baju murah juga yang lawa dan overshine pakaian lain.itulah yang dikatakan lain dari yang lain.beli barang mahal,tapi jika jalan-jalan ternampak si dia yang memakai baju yang sama,perasaannya sangat tak seronok kan?baik beli barang murah yang nampak mahal,tetapi hanya anda seorang sahaja yang memilikinya.tatkala orang bertanya,perlulah berbangga diri mengatakan baju itu murah saja sebenarnya!

yang paling penting adalah esok!gulf air menanti diri!30 jun tarikh keramat.oh mak,oh luqman!nantikan 1 julai dengan penuh sabar.nasib baik kak yong sampai pada tarikh yang sama,1 julai.kalau tidak,mak perlu berulang kali ke KLIA,harga minyak pon dah naik.adoi,terpaksa menggunakan duit poket sendiri.tetapi,MASALAH BESAR!di dalam poketku hanya wujud duit Mesir,tiada duit Malaysia.takpelah,akan ku cari money exchanger nanti.akan ku tukar semua duit yang ada.

agak-agaknya,apa yang telah berubah di Malaysia?selain parlimen yang baru dan harga minyak yang mencekik darah?setahun telah ku tinggalkan,harap-harap,Malaysia masih sejuk berbanding Mesir.Mesir sangat panas,diriku juga telah gelap.Harap-harap mak masih mengenaliku.walaupun diriku telah gemuk dan gelap.bak kata orang,itu tandanya gembira.heh?gembira?itu sebenarnya tanda tension belajar,tanda winter mahu tenaga,tanda makanan di sini semuanya halal dan sedap.harhar.

adoi,janjiku entry tentang percutian di Alexandria belum ditunaikan!ape kate,kita jumpa di Malaysia?akan ku tulis tentangnya di sana nanti.

result.

was finishing hannibal rising.suddenly nadia ym-ed me.

result dah kuar!!

she gave me the link of the tulab natigah(student's result) but our results were blocked due to incomplete documents(file pendaftaran tak settle lagi).

received another ym.

jom g university 2.30 ni.

ngeng.seriously?

took the most non matching tudung and t-shirt,with muka cuak,went to the university.

ketakutan.some were about to cry.i,kept silent.some had their results.envied,worried.talked to the vice dean.the kind vice dean told us our results.

And,Alhamdulillah.

mum was happy.syukur Alhamdulillah.

dear dentistry students,i'll be seeing you in kuliah tib asnan.

it's jayyid.congrats dentistry students!we've made it!

should do better next time though.insyaAllah

surat cinta

how the egyptians deliver their surat cinta?

they use the old way!!
just like the scene in P.Ramlee's bujang lapok.except that they didnt use the glass bottles to call their loved ones.

instead,they do it something like this:


they tie the letter with a rope and drop it to the receiver's house.

We received surat cinta a number of times. it's not a surat cinta actually,it's kinda surat pengenalan.haha.

so whenever we wanted to reply the letter, the sender,which is an egyptian,and lives a floor above us,will drop the rope and will wait patiently for us to tie the reply letter on it..after that,we have to pull it twice and the rope will suddenly being pulled by the upper floor.

they fooled us by telling us to shut up because they were having their exam season,and they wanted to study.we replied by saying,ok,we will keep quiet.(dalam hati mengutuk,kau bising time aku exam takpe la pulak?)

then the letters kept falling toward us asking what are our names,asking us out for lunch yada-yada..and THAT freaked us out!we lied to them our names,but we know who exactly live upstairs,beso, ehab and kareem.after they freaked us out,we ignored them,but then they treaten us la..asking us why we ignore them la..they even screamed:'why are you angry with me!' the other night.and THAT shuts us up.huhu.but we didnt do anything pon..we didnt even apologize.haha.and they gave up kot?they didnt drop any letter since then.



the first letter:i have exam tomorrow.

the other side:please no no no no fight tonight.huh?

the sms cost us quite large amount of money.imagine 50 pastiers per sms.and if you wanna have a long chat,it will cost you 10 genih in a blink.that is the reason kot why people drop their surat cinta.huhu.



what if i do the same thing in malaysia.what will the malaysians think?

they will react by either..



kuno gile kau!



or



kedekut doh!sms murah maa!



or



kau duduk zaman bile?internet sudehh..



or



gile ke ape?



so,dont do this at home! or else people will think you're crazy and you'll end up in tanjung rambutan for the wrong reason and you just have to wait for me to come and visit you there.

i warned you!

haha..

sweet revenge eh nuha?

tagged by nuha.sweet revenge eh?i'll try to enjoy myself doing this.haha.

Put your player on shuffle.
Answer the question with the song you got.


What does your mum said when she yelled at you?
the kill - 30 seconds to mars.
i am finish with you!!fuyoh mak,i am sooo sorry..(puppy dog eyes)huhu..

Your best friend punches you in the arm, what will she say?
filrt - pussy cat dolls.
she just wanna filrt with me?alright bebeh!(wink2)

Your crush bumps into you at school, what will he say?
wei yi - lee hom.
i'm his only one?oh yeay!!cair cair cair..

You worst enemy walks up to you, what will you say?
hollywood - jonas brothers.
we're gone~so gone!hollywood,here we come!haha..boleh tahan la kena..

You are walking down the street at night with stranger, what will he say?
cascada - truly madly deeply.
he's truly madly deeply in love with me?phsycho!!!larikan diri!!

You see your pet, what will you say to her?
scream - timbaland.
i'll scream!huh?

Your favorite teacher comes to you, what will she say?
wild world - mr big.
if you're wanna leave,take good care.ok cikgu,i will.


What song do you play when you are...

Happy
what katie did - the libertines.

takde kene mengene.


Sad
kiss goodbye - lee hom
wahh memang lagu sedih!huhu.

Depressed
over my head - the fray.
huh?


In love
this is the last time - keane.
huh?seriously?


Missing someone
better in time - leona lewis.
it will all get better in time,God willing..(hee..)

Having a bad day
hold on - jonas brothers.
dont give up,stand till the end!

Trying to go to sleep
chasing cars - snow patrol.
i'll be chasing cars while everyone else is counting sheeps.-.-"

Really really hyper
shuo ai ni(say i love you)-jolin tsai.
heh?

What song was being played when you were...

Having your first birthday
wont go home without you - maroon five.
they wont go home without me..how important was i..haha

Going out with your first boyfriend
you give me something - james morrison.
errrr....

Getting married to...
come undone - duran duran.
who do you need?who do you love..when you come undone..huhu..
it's from the wedding album though..huhu

When you're having your first kid
519 - matt wertz
i'll be having my first kid at 5.19 am.wink2..

i tag:niksu,amelin,fatin,faridah,kak alak and ilya.

next entry(s) will be about..

and

free~

i'dadi asnan(pre-dentistry) is finally over!jajahan kuliah 'ulum(science) sudah berakhir!

we are finally free~!after facing continuosly of examinations and quizes this 2nd term,we are now,finally officially free!alhamdulillah and insyaAllah we'll be seing each other again next year in kuliah tib asnan(dentistry).

computer exam went smooth.i actually enjoyed answering computer exam which i merely like to study it and which notes' i drew a sad face and showed it to my family back home via webcam.the duration of the exam was 3 hours but everybody has settled answering after only half an hour the exam started.

we took pictures.the last stock of pictures in kuliah 'ulum.have to admit it.eventhough the kuliah 'ulum is like a dead building with broken pieces of furnitures here and there,i am soo going to miss that building!they have the best library ever in the university.we surveyed all the libraries in the universities and found out that the kuliah 'ulum's is the best!even the medic students came to the 'ulum's library to study eventhough they have their own.(prouuddd!!)

the sad part about yesterday is that,most of our high-standard-up-to-date-plus-handsome-and-pretty classmates will not enter the kuliah tib asnan in mansoura university.
ebraheem,whom i waved everyday and he loves to imitate me and act cute,is going to university of tanta.good for him though,his home is there.he have to take 45 minutes of journey to attend classes everyday and he didnt even missed a day.
'adel,whom we called john tucker because of his first impression toward us at the beginning of i'dadi asnan where he looked just alike john tucker in john tucker must die,is going to university of cairo.i dont actually know the reason.he seldom talk to us.huhu.comel.
and lala,who is verrryy rich and her family lives in saudi,is going to tanta university along with ebraheem because her sister lives there so it's easier for her.

there you go.those who actually know how to speak english are leaving us.(sobs).i hope shrouk didnt follow them.because we really depends on her in everything.LITERALLY!or even budak baju biru,because if he leaves,i would not be able to cuci mata anymore!and that is sad!(sobsss)

i went through hell of two months!with orals which at times were just too mean to be true and written exams which at times stabs my heart.i just hope i would not have to repeat any paper.let's just say that even if i didnt get mumtaz,as long as i pass everything,i would be happy enough.

we took pictures!thanks to luwoh who willing to put aside his medical books for awhile and helped us to take some nice pictures.i must say,the dentist students do talk a lot.there were too many perangai,too many need attention,we were just soo loud!huhu.there were so many noise to take even 1 picture.

so here're some..havent collect all yet.

beside me ebraheem,islam,ahmad hisyam(budak baju biru),and the white shirt 'adel.

ebraheem is trying to emitate me posing the peace sign,they dont know what the peace sign actually meant.huhu.

shrouk diapit.with our egyptian girls classmates.

the malaysians.the perfect complete picture.

since today is father's day.let's recite Al-fatihah to my late dad.it's been 2 father's days without him.daddy,i miss you.

and to all fathers out there,happy father's day!enjoy your day!God bless

tagged by kak alak.

7 facts about me
fat short and clumsy.
dentist wannabe.
i love to goof around.
garang.from friends' point of view.
always do things last minute.
i swear when i feel like swearing.
masih belum dapat permission from mak untuk drive sorang2.

7 things that frightened me
rats
silence
failing
memusnahkan harapan keluarga
kematian.
accidents yang teruk.
kehilangan ahli keluarga.

7 songs for the mean time
jonas brothers-hold on
sum 41-with me
jason mraz feat colbie caillat-lucky(sgt sedapp)
yuna-deeper conversation
gigi-11 januari(happy birthday kak yong)
vanessa carlton-nolita fairytale
the last goodbye-pictures of you.

7 phrases always said
apekah?
mcm bodoh/bongok je
boleh pulakkk..
oh shhhhhhhh...(tak lengkap..mmg begitu)
...(ayat di sini)...doh..[mcm semua org gune je]
...(ayat di sini)..sudeh..[terikut drp rakan2]

7 valuable things for me
family
friends
internet
handphone yg kodi ini
laptop!
jantung yg masih berfungsi.
otak yg ok la kepandaiannya

7 first time in my life
1st time away from family- 11 may 2007,matrikulasi melaka.
1st time living alone farr from family-starting 26 august 2007,here,mansoura,egypt.
1st time in a plane-1993,UK.
1st time loosing a person very close to me-26 december 2006.
1st raya without family- aidilfitri and aidiladha 2007.
1st crush-anuar,standard 6,2001(dunno what happened to him now.harhar)
1st time owning a laptop-february 2008.(thanks mak,luqman,ibrahim and whoever made the laptop came to me.~)

7 lucky persons to be tagged
niksu[mangsa pertama.muahaha]
amelin[sesibuk mane pon kene buat!]
bat[you have to do this bat,no matter what!]
faridah[i know you hate doing this,but..sorry faridah!hee]
nuha[same..kene buat!]
2 tempat kosong dibiar vacant.sesiape rajin,silela buat.hee..

emosi

mom,i am so sorry i disappoint you.it is my fault to make such large number of careless mistakes in one paper.

it was so BANYAK i couldn't terima.

i've made loads of mistakes in my favourite subject.my MOST favourite subject.hell yes,i cried my eyes out.i was indeed sad for not doing well in my favourite subject.the subject that i aim so high,the one that i prepared for so long,the subject that i actually understand what's going on and the only subject i have confidence in learning it.and i flunk it.i made a huge mistake for the simplest question!i dont know what happened to me,i dont know what went wrong.i never cry over a paper before.i don't know why i did yesterday.maybe because was just envy for those who did well yesterday.i envy for those who i teached and they can answer the exam easily but not me.darn it,i feel like i'm the most less intelligent of all.and maybe i'm wrong for having this feeling but i feel that it's soo unfair!!!

i cried myself to sleep(well not exactly sleep la.i tried to,but the facts about the paper yesterday haunted me and i end up crying again).yeah,i define that my sadness over yesterday's organic chemistry paper is like i broke up with it.i was in love with it for God's sake!and now my stupidity made my relationship with it in great danger.i feel like turning back the time.

i HATE this!!!!!

please GOD,i don't want to repeat any paper.i pray to you.

mommy,again,i am so sorry.your daughter is a useless person who can't even answer simple question.i am really sorry,mom.

i'm trying to put this behind.statistics exam is thursday.another one of my favourite subject.i hope it would not end up like yesterday.

When it falls apart
And your feeling lost
All your hope is gone
don’t forget to hold on, hold on

When you love someone
And they break your heart
don’t give up on love
Have faith, restart
Just hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

When it falls apart and you're feeling lost
All your hopes is gone,don't forget to hold on!

-hold on,jonas brothers.



all i can do is just hope.