Sunday, April 29, 2007
we were in the car on our way to the kubur and everybody is talking to everybody except they didnt talk to me.as if i was invisible.and they were talking about me.right in front of my face.as if i cant hear anything.gosh!i hate this!
kak ngah wants to go to this concert with mawi as the main performer and mak said ok.OMG kenape aku takleh lupe perkara ni????????siot betul aku benci!benci!benci!
i miss arwah ayah.he used to ask me wether or not i'm ok in the car while others were talking.arwah ayah used to hold my hand sebab suke² while we were in the car.i miss hugging ayah if i feel like crying without him noticing that i wanted to cry at that moment.i miss kissing ayah's cheek for saje².i miss ayah who always call me names like jenahak or kak langkawi or twenty p.even though the names are lame but it's special.neither kak yong,kak ngah or luqman have names like that.ayah didnt give them any special names.ayah always made me feel special.i miss you,dad.u're the greatest dad in the whole wide world.i love you.Al-fatihah.
ya TUHAN,aku tahu ini adalah lagi satu dugaan.aku akan tabah mengharunginya.aku berdoa utk yang terbaik.amiin.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
i went to alamanda today and kak ngah suddenly asked me about kaer.so i told her that kaer called whatsoever.then kak ngah suddenly said'nak jumpe kaer!nk jumpe'.kalau nak jumpe apsal aku suruh kau pujuk mak kau taknak ha?siot betul tak gune!TAK GUNE BETUL!serious tak gune.as if la mak nak dgr sngat pujukan aku?palotak kau!betul² la tak bleh diharapkan langsung!urgh!!!!!!!
then kak ngah treat me mcd.mcd tasted tawar for me.everything is tawar.the burger,the french fries,the milo ais.i didnt finish it but it already made me feel full.and we went jalan² looking for barang dapur.and luqman made me angry.dah tahu aku takde mood,kau nak carik gaduh ngan aku apsal?so,i pinched him.pinched sikit je.sekali je.dahh nak nangis.then kak ngah scolded me,and we got home,mak scolded me.so,yeah.food equals to emosi.yeah.so i should stop eating.i should have let myself menggigil and didnt do any actions about it.that would make everybody happy right?
GOD,why are u torturing me?
Friday, April 27, 2007
bodoh betul la..life is so unfair!!life is full of lies.i hate lies.i hate everything now.i hate people.i hate animals.call me emo but that's what i am now.geez...thanks,mum.
yea.kaer did called me.kalau call baik aku takyah vote berlambak²!sampai tangan lenguh²!baik aku call je die mase die onair.call sgt senang.everybody pernah call kaer!I WANT TO MEET HIM!not listen to him!kalau dengar je,baik aku bukak cd dgr berjuta² kali!dah la cakap beberapa saat je.urgh.i hate 26/4.i dont want to get married on 26/4.I'M NOT HAPPY.i'm so not happy.it's just sooo unfair!
and,i hate crying.oh GOD,please stop this.i cant handle it anymore!
i drove over hadlaju today.i drove 80 km/h in a 40 km/h road.it made mak scream.but i dont care.i dont even listen to her.i just drive as if the road is mine.lepaskan geram!yeah!i should do it more often for i'm now full of grudge and anger living in a house like a prisioner!
luqman wants to go out and buy new shirts and mak said ok.boleh plak bersuka²????????kalau hannah,tak bleh je la????unfair gile!
currently staying as far as i could from any of kaer songs.any of kaer pics.it made me feel sad.and i'm staying away from food too.so,yes,mum..I AM THAT SAD!get it?i didnt even eat her nasi lemak yesterday.and she asked me wether or not i eat it.and i didnt answer any of her questions.till now.maybe will be continue until i decided to get married 6 years later.so mum,be surprise if i talk to u after 6 years.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
stop coming to me with ur problems.stop judging my new friends.stop telling me to do what.stop asking me to solve ur couple's problem.i'm a normal human being.i deserve to be angry.i deserve to cuss once in awhile.
stop being fake.stop telling me that 'i wish i could help.'if u dont want to help,if u dont want to listen,just say it!just say it that u're selfish.TELL ME THAT U DONT EVEN CARE.i lent my ears to listen to ur problems.i lent my streght to help u.i lent my brain to help u solve ur problems.i lent my ideas to u when u need some.y cant u lend me some of urs?WHY ARE PEOPLE BEING SO SELFISH?SO PARANOID?
so,stop coming to me.stop sms me for awhile.i need an alone time.yes,i'm being emotional.but,stop judging me.
stop asking me wether or not i'm ok.stop asking me wether or not i'm fine with everything.I'M NOT OK!.if u get the chance to meet an actor/actress or a singer that u hang his/her poster on ur door and bought everything that have to do with him/her and supproted him/her all day,but u cant go,will u be ok with it?i wanna see if u're ok with it.SO,I'M NOT OK.I WILL NEVER BE OKAY UNLESS a brain surgoen come to me and make this memory dissapear.maybe i will be fine by then.
do not disturb me for awhile.i need an alone time.i cant handle with pressures.i dont do well with solving my own problems.maybe i'll end up being the shooter that killed 32 people in virginia.maybe i'll shoot everybody including myself.yeah,maybe i can do that.since now,i'm in the jail with pressures and problems.yeah.maybe i'll do that.
YES,i really like him.i've voted for him since the year 2003.yet,i doesnt deserve this once in a lifetime opportunity,right?maybe i should stop liking someone.maybe i should stop loving someone.by doing that,maybe i could get the things that i wanted so bad.YEAH.MAYBE I SHOULD DO THAT.
STOP blaming me for ruining my eyes for crying about this.stop telling me to take care whatsoever.i'm sad.I'M DEEPLY SAD.and i'm doing what people do when they're sad.i dont care if i got sick.who asked u to not allowing me to go?padan muka lah if ur third daughter suddenly got a fever.PADAN MUKA SANGAT.
p/s: do not disturb me for a few days.i will tell u whenever i feel better.and dont blame me for didnt reply any of ur phone calls or any of ur messages.I NEED AN ALONE TIME!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Hadapi dengan senyuman
Semua yang terjadi
Biar terjadi .
Hadapi dengan tenang jiwa
Semua... Kan baik baik saja
Bila ketetapan tuhan
Tetaplah sudah .
Tak ada yang bisa merubah
Dan takkan bisa berubah
Relakanlah saja ini
Bahwa semua yang terbaik
Terbaik untuk kita semua
Menyerahlah untuk menang
i'm currently trying hard to hadapi this mak didnt allow me to go to meet my dear kaer dgn senyuman.URGH!MAK IS SOOOO UNFAIR!!!
so mcm takde mase nk beli tepung itu..cis la..urghhh!!!
KAK NGAH DAH BALIKKK!!!!yeay!still working on convincing mak to let kak ngah drive us tomorrow.tapi mak asyik takde je dari pagi..hadoih..MAK...PULANGLAH..
Monday, April 23, 2007
so,we baked the muffins today.and it turned out to be..beautiful!i'm a good baker!we are the muffin men!muahahahaha..err...the muffin girls to be exact.whee~.it's easy to bake the muffins.especially when the tepung is already done with the mixture.we bought the ready tepung je.and we added some eggs,oil,and water.hahahaha..senang!30 mins je dah siap.haha.bijak!
we were thinking of baking more muffins tomorrow!at least i didnt get bored doing nothing at home..i have muffins to bake!haha.
i'll meet kaer on the 26th of april!not 25th!!OMG thank you abg rizal!!tak tahu la apa akan jadi kalau pergi ke astro pada 25 haribulan.mesti geram nak mati.26th people!26th!this thursday!OMG!gahahaha..
currently solving another couple's problem.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
it turned out to be true..
for my mum,my driving skill sucks.but the good thing is that nobody honked me!!everybody honked me when the 1st and 2nd time i drove the car.haha.for mak,i cant drive by my own yet.she said she'll only allow me to drive alone when i reach 21.err...mak,to make things clear...i'm still new in driving the kembara.i only drive it 4 times.and i want to drive it by my own NOW!not,another 3 years!OMG kak ngah,please come home as soon as possible!!!
But i drove it without mak's directions.i mean,i went right or left without mak scream KANAN!!!or KIRI!!..she only screamed...BREK!!..or ORANG!!!..or..KERETA!!!.
-__-" ..i envy xinwei.her parents allow her to drive by her own a week after she passed her jpj test.and her driving skill is very very similar to the 18 year old girl.CIS!!
i watched the movie called three times in kirana just now.the stroy was about a couple in three generations.kinda cute.but it's also kinda bores me.they didnt talk much.they just express they emotions.and they were loads of songs in it.kinda reminds me of yasmin ahmad's film.three times used loads of hokkien.n i dont know any other hokkien words except NIAMA,BO LIAO,XIA SUI,and XIANG AR?..so,didnt really understand what they said.coz the subtitles are also confusing.but overall,i gave it 7 from 1 to 10 scale.i recommend it to all.you guys should watch three times in kirana.grab ur astro guide to know the next date that they'll air it again.
oh!time to bake the muffins with hani!will update about it soon!whee~..
Saturday, April 21, 2007
i dont get her sometimes.one time,she'll be extra nice,another time she'll be not in mood 24/7.i dont think it's about PMS.she's been like this for three weeks now.and i have to be tough to face every words that kinda...erm...mean..that she throw to me.
things changed from bad to better today with hani's call saying that my kodi laptop is ready to be use(and i'm using it now,cause the screen is not blue,like my pc.).i'm happy to enjoy the colourful world of alam maya!!haha.
and,syaf dropped by today and i had a BIG laugh with her.we found out that those two girls that we hated soo much didnt get selected to matriculation.which was a good sign cause syaf told me that she kept dreaming about them.which was scary cause you dont know how mean they can be!OMG,please dont let any of my friends be their friend.believe me,they can do anything to destroy anybody!ok.enough about that.
so,konsert AF this week brought in some kelainan.by that kelainan means..it bores me.watching those so called 'bintang senior' talking and those unnecessary clips bores me to tears.i mean there's no use of showing those clips.maybe the talking is bagus la.tapi,banyak sangat.i believe that if they cut off the clips ang the talking part..the show should be end like just in half an hour je.but i heart dafi's perfomance!dafi did well in the song!OMG,he even pronounced the mandarin words like 60% perfect!a job well done,dafi!i love u..(this week je la..haha).and,aizat's perfomance was the best tonight.kudos given to him.he deserved it.but i hope he'll not be too proud about it.people hate that attitude.so,i'm happy with today's concert.
so,that's about it.kinda not in the mood of blogging today.i had a moody day with my family.kinda think of it.I NEED TO GO OUT AND HANG WITH FRIENDS!i cant do well with pressures!oh God,please say mak will let me hang with my juniors on monday.PLEASE!
Friday, April 20, 2007
-______-" .semalam kate tak payah???adoih.but i told her that i'll do it tomorrow.harini panas la.malas.haha
oh.i dont understand why couples keep cari me for solving their problems.i mean.hello?i dont have any experience in this matter!ask anybody else!but noooo,they still find me for that.so now i'm in the middle of solving one couple's problem.pening sudah.
i watched wakenabeb yesterday.honestly,it was the first time i watch the 2nd season ok?haha.i think the 1st season was wayyyyy better.that's my opinion la.but yesterday's pija prank was like gila la tak bleh bla!hebatttt...simbah² air.gaha.and i watched KAER in thursday nite live.OMG he's soooo cute!kaer,mari rabu makan muffin!hehe..
i'm now in love with JOHN MAYER!haha.lagu die sedap.sedap mcm gula²!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
tak sehat lagi..tak payah la..
asked again,and she said...
siape nak hantar??
told her that i'll be following my friend,and she said..
budak² drive malam² tak selamat..tak payah la..
and i cried..i cried so badly that i've fallen asleep.dont blame me for crying.i miss my school!i miss my classmates!i miss them!i miss bullying them!i miss laughing so hard in class that people could tell and figure out that thatlaugh is my trademark laugh.OMG.I MISS EVERYTHING!!including the time when everybody will group up together and started to gossip.i miss hang out with pn eng!OMG i bet she'd delivered her baby by now.i miss arguing which is the best football team or whose the best F1 driver with win shen and his gang.i even miss the kodi radio yu hua.i miss chinese songs!that explains why i kept playing chinese songs in my myspace page.so,dont blame me for crying.
pak andak and mak andak came today.to simplify everything..pak andak told me to just go for the egypt thing.forget matriks.but,if i suddenly became the luckiest girl and the upu thing give me the courses that i love,i should go for upu instead.OMG.pening.
kak ngah rocks!she said she'll accompany me to astro!now,i dont have to worry about transportation.kak ngah is coming home on the 24th of april!yeay!and she'll definitely teach me kembara and will tell mak that i can drive on my own now!gaha kacak!kak ngah rocks!kak ngah,if u're reading this,I LOVE U!hahahahaha..
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
so,i'm in a dilemma.because i dont know how is egypt like.damnit.it's so unfair.
but,the people from medicglobal told me that,there's nothing to worry about.i'll love it there.huh.pening.
i dont feel really well today,so i've skipped my driving practice sesion with mak.i hope that i'll get extra well tomorrow!
Monday, April 16, 2007
Tahniah! Anda telah ditawarkan ke Program Matrikulasi,
Kementerian Pelajaran Malaysia.
gahahaha...n i got selected to KOLEJ MATRIKULASI MELAKA(KMM)..the same place that kak ngah went to 4 years ago.
sudah tahu jawapan matrikulasi!sedang tunggu jawapan UPU.sekarang macam 60% perasaan ke egypt.(sebab matriks susah)..tgk la kalau UPU bg jawapan yg macam mane..gaha..
i went to JPN today.i've waited for almost 2 hours to collect my cabutan sijil kelahiran.sistem lambat la ape la..and i became really stressed with the people behind me kept talking non stop..talking about how succesful they are..how their spm results are..how the can go study abroad and have to renew their passport..n i was like..apekejadah kau nak berlagak kat sini??..sgt memeningkan kepala.
one word to describe today's medicglobal interview : KELAKAR.haha.
have to go to medicglobal again tomorrow!hadoih.
i've decided that i'm going to the matrikulasi for approximately 3 months before i fly to egypt.
boleh carik garing.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
yesterday was husna's 18th birthday.so,we've planned to have a surprise birthday party.it was held at the palma cafe in pkns bangi at 9pm.palma cafe is the 2nd best place to hangout after bangi kopitiam,here in bangi.but the plan doesnt go really well.apparently shai dont know how to keep husna stay in one place and husna suddenly got all merajuk and wanna go back home immediately.so we called her up and completely spoilt the surprise la kan..buat penat je aku berpeluh² tunggu 'line clear' tepi tangga yang busuk berbau rokok tu!siot betul.tapi husna still surprised with us all suddenly terkeluarkan kepala panggil dia naik atas andddddddd....the best pak cik ever who sang the birthday song for her free of charge.with the mic and the keyboard..made her tears rolled over.gahahaha...it was fun!should do it more often..except the busuk bau rokok part la..gaha.
the party end at 10.30pm.then we jalan² to ean's house.syaf drove the car.i was like..i want to drive the car!!but they all were like..tak nampak la!jangan..doh.dengki!cis!syaf's driving skill is very similar with mine..i wonder why mak still didn't allow me to drive alone yet.grrr....geram sungguh la~..but nevermind,i'll practice more often!kembaraku yg membara..bersabarlah anda~..i arrived home at 11pm and everybody was asleep.doink betul.
my cousins,my anak sepupus,cikde and pak ude slept overnight here.but due to the kodi astro angah arman's family have to leave early.he said:'ada meeting pukul 9 nanti!'...palotak hang!grrr...along's family tak jadi spent the night here with same reason..'astro kau tak gune arr...'...ek eleh...angah arman came here yesterday with his so called 'magic' fingers to repair the kodi astro but end up with absolutely nothing except a technician's phone number.baik takyah,angah!cis!harapan palsu.
the technician came this morning and our astro is fully recovered from any illness!yeay.according to the technician,the piring eventually disambar petir.and we were like...OH~...and we watched the ulangan of konsert akademi fantasia at 1.30 pm.
i had fun these two days!i've cooked.and it turned up to be hangus.but angah still said it was nice though!so mak,somebody just compliment my cooking skill!big heart to angah arman!!gaha.i've played with the little ones.oh!heaven!
i have to go to JPN tomorrow..and to medicglobal..and to aunty sarah's house..got to meet aunty ani!!yeay!really hope that she'll go.gahahahahaha.(segan)
i need new shoes!!!i really² need new shoes as soon as possible!!new bag also.and shades!grrrrrr...
Friday, April 13, 2007
astroku kodi tahap kritikal!
which means...i cant watch any of my favourite tv shows!damnit la..
and now i'm getting bored staring the monitor..which is (the monitor) becoming kodi-er everyday.i have a blue screen.a completely blue screen that's making me sleepy everytime i stare it.and the pink is turning blue.red is completely black.so,i cant enjoy the colourful world of alam maya.fcuk.
so,tomorrow...is yet to decide..i think i'll be extra extra gigantic bored so,i have to go out and meet people!oh rakan² marilah berjumpa!aku rinduuu!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
mak didnt scream!!doh best gile..jap..ade sikit...sikit je jeritan.haha..petanda bagus kan?kan?kan?muahahahahaha..kembara kacak doh!wangiii...kembara yang membara!haha..
but,i drove the car without bringing my license!and mak also didnt bring hers.and ada polis tahan kereta².and i got freaked out!i was like..omg..1st time langgar peraturan doh!!bangga!!tapi cuak takut kena tangkap.luckily,the policeman only tahan lelaki².and i'm a gadis.so,THANK GOD FOR THAT!!gahahahahaha.tapi kacak gile la tak bawak lesen!hahaha...
currently waiting for 1.30 pm so i can watch pride and prejudice...again...and again..haha..ok chow!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
it made me feel sad.mak told me that tiada prektis harini kerana bangun lewat.which was not really true.i woke up early tau?8 something but i'm so malas to get up from the cossy bed.so,i went back to sleep.akhirnye,i woke up at 9 something.and mak is already in front of the sewing table and sewing curtains.which was the sign of..'u're not going to drive the car today,i'm busy with works.'..aiyak!apsal la tak bangun je tadi??adoi!
therefore,i have to wake up extremely early tomorrow so that i can practice the kembara and i can drive alone as soon as possible.plus,learn how to drift with cikgu haziq.haha.
i was surfing the net and i found this...
Mak: Along..nak pegi kedai ker?
Along: Yer,mak nak kirim ape2 ker?
Mak: Sos cili dh hbs..tolong beli sebotol..
[along memandang topi keledarnye..]
Along: xpayah larh pakai..dekat jer..
10 minit kemudian...
Adik: Mak2,ade kemalangan tadi..sos cili tumpah macam darah...
Mak: Sos cili?
Adik: Mak,along mane mak?
Mak: ALONG!?SOS CILI!?
Adik: Ape bau busuk nie mak?
Along: Sorry lar mak..sos cili tertumpah tadi..motor along hmpr2 kne langgar dgn lori najis tadi.....habis tumpah sos cili...
KALO NAK SOS CILI...
CALL MCDONALD DI TALIAN
SETIAP PEMBELIAN MAKANAN AKAN
DGN SOS CILI PERCUMA
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
i dont know what's wrong with me.mak said left,i turned right.and i got mad when mak said i turned the wrong side.i was really sure that my right is left.maybe i just woke up and i was having the blur baru bangun dari tidur moment.
i was a bit more relaxed when i drive the kembara today.which is good....kan?...kan?
the roads need major make over!i cant see the lines!where're those lines?how do i suppose to know where to stop if i dont know where the fcuking line is?oi jabatan kerja raya!buat line tu lekas!!!aku tak nampak!!pastu aku kene marah sebab berenti jauh sgt.kau punye pasal la!jkr busukk..
i went to hani's immediately after i got home from the practice session..away from mak's BERHENTI!!! scream...away from mak's KIRI!!KIRI!! scream..it made me feel very emotional tau?haha..so i went there to give kak ngah's husband(i dont know how to spell his name) my kodi laptop to be repaired.hoorayy!!
i met mohd akmal hanif today!i enjoyed watching him sleeping.but i hate it when he started to poo..haha..hanif,jangan poo depan aunty hannah lagi,ok?busuk..haha..
faiz bought this motorola flip phone that only cost RM280!and it is so damn kacakkkkkkkk!but takde kamera,takde mp3,takde infrared,takde bluetooth.TAPI ADE RADIO!!ITU PALING PENTING!!tapi,patutkah saye beli?
Saturday, April 07, 2007
aunty leha:'jgn ckp ok!spm is nothing.'
makyong:'sebenarnye orang yang banyak² bukannya pandai.diorang paksa jadi pandai.yang average² yang bijak.'
aunty leha:'malaysia ni sbenarnye pressure students ni supaya dapat banyak A,kat US takde mcm tu pon.'
makyong:'tgk la kalau nak biasiswa kena semua A jugak!pressure betul.'
and i was like...THANK GOD ADE ORANG PAHAM!!!!!
n ouh.farha,fatin and noni dah keluar pulak.skali keluar 3 terus pulak.AF kodi lah.adoi.shawalku perfomed baiikkk!part terakhir mcm kasi meremang bulu roma.i even like dafi's didodoididodoididodoi song.sgt best chorus dia.
cant wait for 25th april 2007!nantikan~haha..
pastikan anda tune 103.0 fm pada pukul 9 malam pada tarikh di atas~haha.
baiklah rakan², tatau nak blog ape dah.somebody sedekahkan aku RM2000 please.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Thursday, April 05, 2007
mak said i'm a lousy driver~
mak told me that i cant really drive~
mak said i cant drive yet till i have confidence yang tinggi~ (confidence lagi?)
kembara busukkk!!!kembara tinggi!!!tak reti~tak reti~
tak reti drive auto~
sape mahu ajar saye???
kak ngah,cepatla balikkkkk
kak yong,lekas la pulang~
mak cikgu yang garang~
kene marah sampai nak nangis~
wahai kakak kakak ku yang baik dan jelita~
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
zati belanja!hehe.hani and i had gold-o-choc at delifrance and we were high!so high that we could reach the 9th cloud.haha.and we did some crazy gile tak bleh bla stuff.we took atheera's esprit bottle and poured the manis-est root beer i ever drank in it.and we drank it.and we acted as if we were drunk.best gile.haha.and other stuff that i'm so malas to mention it here but i wrote it in my diary.haha.
the root beer and zati's strawberry thingy were so manis that i was like..soo terlebih gula..even zati and atheera were like..korang ni dah kritikal!haha.kodi.niksu left early though.kodi la niksu!sampai rumah pukul 8 mlm.and mak was soo sporting and didnt scold me for coming back late.love u,mak!
remind me NOT TO GO TO KL WITH (abg)FAIZ EVER EVER EVER AGAIN!!